i hope you know what you're getting yourself into.

what am i talking about? of course you don't! :D

heh.

Sometimes i get sick of my perception.
i get sick of knowing just how things will go.

i saw it in you from the start, but your words can be misleading.
i think you could be worse than the others actually.
its funny coz, you're not exactly the textbook version.
it makes me lol
lol in ANGER.

What has happened to me?
I used to be so strong.
I used to be able to be strong for everyone else, too.
Now i can't do anything.
I cant even do my homework.
I don't even know what it is.
The drugs?
The lack of drugs?
The weather?
Or maybe i'm just too rotten to support my own frame.
My smiles dont even feel like me anymore. Not the me that i feel, anyway.
They're that distant happy person i can see vaguely in this creatures shadow.
I don't want to be here anymore, tbh.

Unbreakable.

I kinda like this feeling
I kinda like having nothing left to lose
and not having to worry about
people breaking my heart
'coz it's six feet under
with a Carebears Penguin and a pink and purple scarf.
and it's glass case is in slivers on the floor.

I could give you some pieces
and maybe you could start to fix
the space for something new to grow.
you couldn't have much though
you don't deserve that yet.
and who even knows if you
have to mind to fix it.

Then again,
I have nothing left
to lose
so it wouldn't even matter
if you turned the slivers to dust.
and made sure,
that nothing would ever sprout.
'coz it might not anyway.

And this isn't just to one person
This is to anybody.
I'm a clean slate baby,
come and make me glow.

whine.

I am at the end of my proverbial tether. I can't take this anymore.
crying,
every
single
night
as my guilt and pain and emptiness tear new holes in my mind.
sure you can ask how i am and pull a sad face when i say okay.
sure you can give me a careful pat on the shoulder occasionally and then carry on with your life.
I don't blame you, i would probably do the same thing. Because it's scary. It's scary to see someone with this gaping gash in their lives. But i guarantee it's a million times harder being that person.

And as emo as it sounds, no one understands. They say she's still with me, but i don't feel her. They say she's still looking after me. All i can see is her in the cold damp ground. People say that she loved me more than anything. I don't want to hear that. I would prefer if she was rather indifferent towards me. Then i wouldn't start to shake with the fear of her not knowing how much i love her every time someone brings it up.

So that is what i am. Alone. The only person that was even within a mile of getting inside my head is gone. And my walls refuse to come down for anyone else (except apparantly the internet) so i guess i'll just hang out here.

lol.

Fuck off.

ooh you can be RUDE
just because you're "taken" is no excuse to be a cuntface. (maybe i mean bitchcock).
don't get me wrong, i'm glad that you're happy, but there are actually other people in the world apart from your "boiz" and her. People who were nice to you before you got "cool" friends. People with problems more serious than getting your car taken away.
You are actually like a teenaged girl. Totally selfish and self obsessed. I only realised recently just how selfish you are. You take the day off school on the 13th, me being your excuse, and i come over and you play WORLD OF WARCRAFT all day, and barely talk to me. that is just plain rank. I tell you i'm in a bad mood and you change the subject to one of your new obsessions. you know what i'm beginning to think? i don't want it to happen, but i think you do.

fag.

Give Me Some Love (:

Me and my guitar playing my way
It makes them frown
The little pieces by the highway, bring me down.

Mine is not a heart of stone
I am only skin and bone now
Those little pieces are little pieces of my own

Why don't you give me some love
I've taken shit loads of drugs
I'm so tired of never fixing the pain
Valium said to me, I'll take you seriously
And we'll come back as someone else
who's better than yourself

Many faces at the doorway - all hiding round
Watch me fighting in the hallway but make no sound

So I'm standing all alone and I'm only skin and bone now
So many faces, but they all look out for their own

Why don't you give me some love
I've taken shit loads of drugs
I'm so tired of never fixing the pain
Valium said to me, I'll take you seriously
And we'll come back as someone else
who's better than yourself

Why don't you give me some love
I've taken shit loads of drugs
I'm so tired of never fixing the pain
Valium said to me, I'll take you seriously
And we'll come back as someone else
who's better than yourself today

And someday soon they'll drop the bomb and let it all out someday
I know that some day soon we'll all be gone so, let it all out, let it all out today

And give me some love
Yeah, give me some love,
Come give me some love today